Dating after divorce
There’s something to be said for not having shaving gel and toothpaste globs stuck to your sink.Not having to pick up laundry from the floor brings me utter joy.I knew that I wanted someone that would join me on a run or meet me at the gym.I also wanted someone for whom fitness and exercise was a way of life, not just an opportunityto cinch in the belt a bit.For me, my ex was never a match for me physically (I’m not talking about intimacy here; we were an excellent match in the bedroom).I loved to run and lift weights, and enjoyed the social aspect of exercise, whereas he only exercised to lose weight and even then was very private about it.Going on a date and not knowing the rules because the last date you went on was 20 years ago, can be a really scary thing. Weeding through hundreds of guys who probably want to make a suit of my skin, trying to find that one gem who not only is not a serial killer, but who also chews with his mouth closed can be daunting.
People need time to adjust to the major changes that divorce brings: different living situations, moving, financial struggles, and having to share time with your kids. It’s the death of your hopes, dreams, and beliefs that you will spend the rest of your life with your spouse. It’s wise to wait a year or so, so that you can evaluate your life, take inventory of who you are, change the things about you that you don’t like, and discover what exactly you’re looking for in a partner.She and I both came to the same conclusion – because we waited too long, dating is harder and the thought of letting someone into our lives makes us a little twitchy. ___Dating after divorce tends to be a deliberate action, entered into consciously and tentatively after years or even decades with the same person.However, if you wait too long, some things happen that make dating more difficult.After some time, you start to enjoy the freedom that comes with being on your own. If you don’t feel like making your bed, there’s no one there to get mad at you for it.
I’m not saying I can’t or won’t; it’s just hard to imagine caring enough about someone to want to make room for them in my life.